Day 158

I’ve been reading a lot about Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome as I approach six months sober. I’ve noticed how sluggish my brain has been recently and it would be a relief to put it down to something like PAWS. The alternative is that it is just me getting stupider (which I don’t discount at all).

I had a job interview for a fairly senior post with an educational organisation for a job not dissimilar to the one I had before. I’ve glossed over it with family and friends but I know the interview went appallingly. I keep imagining the interviewers’ shared glance of scorn and disbelief after I left the room. Maybe it wasn’t THAT bad (although I think it was) but I certainly didn’t answer their questions as they related to strategy or managerial style in a strategic or managerial way AT ALL. I didn’t do sufficient homework beforehand and I know now that I certainly shouldn’t try to wing it when trying to impress. I thought I might be able to fake it but I seem to be lacking the tools for fakery right now. I have never been very good at interviews and I don’t have the actorly qualities necessary to be a good faker but this reduced inability to concentrate seems new.

So I hope it is PAWS and I have a bit of cognitive impairment while my neurotransmitters rewire themselves as I get used to sobriety.

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